10 Things to Never Say to a Woman Trying To Conceive

in: Getting Pregnant | Pregnancy

advice and information on how to speak with women who are trying to conceive without being offensive or rude

woman consoling another woman
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Although the concept of having a baby is simple, the physiological mechanisms that allow it to happen are much more complicated. Getting pregnant isn’t always easy. Most people don’t understand this, particularly those who become pregnant with ease. Unfortunately, discussing the issue with others invites a host of hurtful and irritating comments. Here are ten things you should never say to a woman who is trying to conceive.

1. Have You Tried Different Positions?

This is question is as inappropriate as it is insulting. Besides being nobody’s business, it implies that the woman knows nothing about how babies are made. It can also be construed as saying that their boring, vanilla sex life is the problem.

2. Maybe It’s Not Meant To Be.

To suggest that someone isn’t meant to have a family is like a slap in the face, especially if you’ve already been blessed. Furthermore, statements like this can induce feelings of hopelessness and despair.

3. At Least You Don’t Have To Deal With (Insert Symptom).

If someone really wants to have a baby, why should they feel fortunate to not to experience the symptoms? They’re part and parcel with being pregnant. To suggest they’re lucky to not be pregnant is more than a tad offensive.

4. Do You Want Mine? They’re Driving Me Nuts!

Even if it was meant as a joke, this comment can sound like you’re rubbing it in a TTC woman’s face. It serves to remind them of what you don’t yet have. Statements like this can also make someone feel isolated from their friends and peers.

5. At Least It’s Fun To Try!

At some point during the trying, fun abandons ship. Now, trying consists of checking cervical mucus and taking temperatures. In other words, it’s a medical procedure.

6. Have You Tried Losing Weight?

This is insulting and oversimplified. Even if the woman in question were overweight, if it were that easy, wouldn’t they be pregnant by now?

7. I Got Pregnant After The First Try!

That’s great, but there’s no need to flaunt it. Women who are TTC may try for years before they have a child.

8. It’ll Happen Once You Stop Trying.

If it didn’t already happen naturally, why would it happen once they stop trying? Saying this belittles their struggle and can make them feel helpless.

9. Have You Tried (Insert Supplement)?

If a supplement was going to do the trick, millions of women wouldn’t be struggling, emotionally, physically and financially, to get pregnant.

10. You’ve just got to relax.

When a woman is living her life based on ovulation cycles, relaxing is the last thing she can do.  Be supportive of her and perhaps even help her plan a nice, romantic evening to ease some of her stress.

Life isn’t a romance novel, and romantic encounters don’t make babies more likely. Besides, after a while of trying, all the romance has been sucked out of the act.

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