Bringing together two families is certainly an ambitious endeavor. No matter how much everybody loves each other, bringing two separate family cultures together can bring up difficulties neither parent could have ever imagined. The process is rarely a smooth one, as there are changes that each family member must make for the well-being of the family. Some children are quick to warm up to the new step-parent, while others never actually get there. By keeping a few tips in mind, you can create a better blended family.
– Lay down a solid foundation for the family to begin on.
Many professionals suggest waiting at least two years after a divorce to remarry, though longer may be better.
– Get to know the kids.
Getting to know the children is an essential to step to creating a harmonious blended family. Patience is essential for this step. The best way to do this is with real-life situations. Have dinner together, watch movies at home and go grocery shopping to see the reality of blending your family.
– Discuss parenting styles before marriage.
You will save a ton of time and effort if you discuss discipline techniques and other parenting adjustments before tying the knot. You must understand that these changes are likely to create some chaos and anger for the children.
– Don’t make or accept ultimatums.
Your children and your new spouse are both important to you. You should not allow each other to create a situation in which you feel that you must choose one over the other.
– Don’t have unrealistic expectations.
Any expectations for instant love and happiness with your new family are too high, and you will end up surprised and hurt.
– Be civil and respectful.
No matter what type of fight you are having, you should always maintain respect for each other. Not only must the children respect the adults, but the adults should also respect the children and their boundaries.
– Understand the relationship.
Simply marrying a child’s parent does not turn you into their parent automatically. You must understand your relationship with the child, who likely already has a relationship with his or her parents.
It is entirely possible to bring together two families to create one that is blended, but it is never easy. Once both parents acknowledge the shared work load, they can move forward in a positive manner.